No Dates Allowed

I do not date. At least not co-workers. It’s just not a good idea. Made the decision ages ago.

Back when I was too young to think ahead, to think of possible consequences, I didn’t think ahead. Not at all. Never.
Why would I? Thinking ahead was not my strong suit.

First job I ever had, it never occurred to me to think ahead. I’d spot a cute girl at work, ask her out, chase her, go after her. Have a few dates. Didn’t work out. Back to square one.

Boy, did that ever backfire. Before I could even consider thinking about potential future problems, I’d briefly dated three different young women at work. None of them worked out for me.

Turns out that young women talk to each other. All the time. No holds barred.

And I was done for.

Once these three young women spread the word that I was not a good choice to date, no woman in the entire company would even sit with me for coffee break.

That’s how I learned that casual dating was not a great choice. Neither was dating several different young women. And I also learned that working near resentful young women was never smart.

Dating someone from work can cause stress, big time. Dating several women at work can cause super stress forever. For the rest of your life maybe.
Turns out I found the stares and glared to be stressful. I found the whispers behind my back very unnerving. I found the obvious distrust made it tough for me to feel comfortable ever.

Wound up leaving the job.

Though I talked with the company compliance officer who gave me good suggestions.
But that bad experience stayed with me. Maybe forever. Dating someone at work has some really bad potential side effects.
Being in a work setting can be tough if there’s a broken relationship.

Working with former girlfriends can be seriously uncomfortable.

Once I saw a couple at work who were married. Then we all watched the break up day by day, drama by drama. Not much work done when we’re all holding our breath, waiting to see which one accuses the other of what.

That marriage broke into a hundred thousand brutal pieces. By the time they made it official with an almost-bloody divorce, we’d all taken sides – some for her, some for him.

Work was seriously disrupted. You can count on that. Not even the great compliance officer I’d consulted could fix that!

I’m sure there are workplace romances that work out great – love and marriage, a home and family, happily ever after. The compliance officer I knew had seen some for sure.

But I’ll tell you right now, if I ever own my own company, I will make a rule. No dating co-workers. Period. No excuses. No exceptions. No happily-ever-afters in my company. Ever. No matter what.

OK. I know, it sounds extreme. I know, it sounds half insane, over the edge into weird and beyond.

I do sometimes tend to overreact. But I’ve learned all this the hard way.

Maybe I believe work and romance do not mix. Maybe some people feel I’m wrong, too extreme, an overreactor. My compliance officer advisor suspects that of me.

And I guess some businesses can handle their workers popping in and out of romantic drama. That’s up to them. And probably forbidding romance at work is a totally wasted effort.

But I’ve learned a lesson in my life. For me it’s no dating co-workers. No romance mixed up in workplaces. No dates allowed. At least for me.

© 2024 K. Leet

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These are stories (usually fictional, but not always), based on insights and experiences from the world of compliance & ethics.