Arrogance

Know what I used to be? Huh? Any idea who I was? How I acted? How I saw myself?

What I am is a highly trained, widely experienced, skilled, effective, insightful and diligent compliance professional.

That’s what I am now. But it took way more to get there than I expected.

What I used to be – not to mince words – was a self-absorbed, complacent, closed-minded, arrogant, deaf, dumb and blind idiot.

Idiot. That’s what I was.

Full of myself. Thinking first, last and always about me. Thinking I was a gift to every other person I worked with. Thinking I was smarter, better educated, more skilled – and in short – top dog.

I mean I felt nobody could come even close to how smart I was. How well educated – top of my class, great grades, a brilliant brain – the whole works.

I thought nobody could even come close to how good I was. I respected nobody. Listened to nobody. Valued nobody.

I was so full of myself – there was no room in my mind, in my heart, in my life for anyone else.

I came first. Always and ever.

Back then I never listened to anyone else. Never took advice. Never learned from mistakes. Never even admitted to myself that I ever made a mistake – any mistake – ever.

I felt nothing for anyone else. I don’t think I ever really thought about anyone else.

I was going places. I would advance in my career – of course I would. I’d win awards, honors, advancements.

I would be top of my field. The leader in compliance work, a top gun in my chosen profession. I would be a name, an important name in my field. My name would be known everywhere, by everyone.

I would collect accolades. Maybe more degrees. Maybe wonderful promotions.

I’d be in demand as a speaker to lead other people in the compliance field.

I’d really be somebody. Somebody rich. Famous. Honored. Admired. Respected.

In demand to speak. To train others. To lead in every way.

Then one plain old ordinary day, my whole world shifted.

We had a young, summer intern helping in the compliance program. She was still in college. She quietly asked if she could raise a question with me about our program. Great, I thought, I could answer anything and show how smart I was.

Here’s what she asked. She saw that we covered discipline for violations. But she just wanted to know how we handled incentives. Of course I had to straighten her out so she learned. I showed her how in charge I was. “You must have seen, we cover every incentive to do the right thing, by making it clear that violators were held accountable. Anything else is just HR’s work. We don’t do their work – just the stick when it is needed.

But then she showed me the language in the government guidelines and the standards. I already knew this stuff – at least I thought, until she showed me the actual language. It hit me hard. All these years I had done nothing about incentives. I had left a huge hole in our program. And this little college intern showed me I had been wrong.

From that moment, my life changed. Seeing how my arrogance had almost ruined me and possibly the company hit my massive ego hard. It’s not easy. But I’m becoming a real person now, and there are no perfect people in the real world. I have learned to listen and recognize even the newest and least experienced person may know something I need to learn.

© 2024 K. Leet

What do you think?

Do you know any perfect people?

How’s your ego doing?

Who are you?

Looking for more compliance stories? Karen M. Leet’s new book, Voices in Compliance: Stories Inspired by The Front Line of Compliance and Ethics, brings together a collection of stories inspired by the people, challenges, and dilemmas faced by compliance professionals every day. Available now on Amazon in ebook and paperback formats. Read a sample chapter and order your copy here.

These are stories (usually fictional, but not always), based on insights and experiences from the world of compliance & ethics.